How do you respond to anger without getting angry?
Responding to anger without getting angry is difficult and frustrating. Because anger is a powerful emotional energy and can blind reasoning.
Do not answer an angry person while you are angry.
To respond to an angry person without getting angry, you need to deal with your own emotions first. Three things are necessary to consider when you are in an angry situation.
1. How do I respond to anger without getting angry?
2. What should I do if I am angry?
3. How do I deal with the anger in the other person?
1. How do I respond to anger without getting angry?
Nelson Mandela said,
“If you want to make peace with your enemy, you have to work with your enemy. Then he becomes your partner.”
You can respond to anger without getting angry if you deal with your emotional anger. Tell yourself you must not get angry. Restrain the impulse to hit back, and wait for a chance to express yourself.
(If you want to learn more click this link)
Anger makes us want to react immediately. Angry people most often do not wait and think before reacting. Because anger makes us impetuous. And impetuous people act without thinking about the outcome of their reactions; impetuous people act by impulse.
Don’t focus on what your opponent is saying because that is what is making you angry. Focus, rather, on what you want; how to make him or her listen to you and agree with you.
While your opponent is talking don’t be thinking about how to rebut. If you are not pleased with what your opponent is saying, talk about your feelings calmly without using angry words.
If you keep calm and listen well, you might understand whether your opponent is speaking because of hurt or not. Or if he or she might have misunderstood you.
2. What should I do if I am angry?
The first thing to do is to stop being angry. But that is not easy for some. Philippians 4:8 says,
“Whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy — meditate on these,” (NKJV).
Exercise control over the temptation to retort in anger. Wait some minutes before reacting. The strength of the emotions to retort in anger weakens when you delay your response or reactions.
Mahatma Gandhi said, “Nobody can hurt me without my permission.”
Stop when you notice that the discussion is becoming contentious. Don’t strike back — don’t say anything that will aggravate the situation.
Proverbs 17:14 says,
“The beginning of strife is like releasing water; therefore, stop contention before a quarrel starts,” (NKJV).
(You may want to read “Conquering Without Being Violent.”)
3. How do I deal with the anger in the other person?
Shouting will not solve the matter. So be calm when your opponent is angry and shouting. And when you get the chance to respond, speak calmly but firmly.
Alexandre Dumas said,
“There is nothing more galling to angry people than the coolness of those on whom they wish to vent their spleen.”
A soft answer has the power to cool anger in an angry opponent. Accept that he or she is angry. Even if he or she is not right. Do not argue, but discuss. Let him or her know you want to discuss what is upsetting him or her; you don’t want to argue.
Tolerance helps us to listen and to reason with each other.
You could lose objectivity if your mind is only on winning.
Give him or her the chance to express his or her view. Pay attention to what he or she is saying; try to see his or her point of disagreement. After you have listened to him or her, explain your side in a calm and respectful way.
If he or she still will not see your point, do not argue to prove your point. There is nothing you can do when your opponent is not ready to accept the truth. Francis Bacon said people tend to believe that which they would like to be true.