Suspicions Can Be Dangerous!

Suspicions can be dangerous. Mostly suspicions are just mere suspicions that have not been confirmed. Yet people tend to believe them as factual.

Generalized suspicions have caused hostilities among people, destroyed relationships, and wrecked homes.

The indwelling of God’s Spirit transforms our spirits and empowers us to love each other as God loves us. The Holy Spirit enables us to live righteous lives. Milk turns water milky and tasty like milk. Similarly, the Holy Spirit transforms the human spirit and gives the human spirit divine power. The water does not change itself. It is the milk that transforms the water. In the same manner, the Holy Spirit transforms the human spirit (Acts 2:4). Jesus said, you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you (Acts 1:8).

Among Christians, (and non-Christians), are people who believe that their suspicions are factual revelations of people’s intentions. They believe their suspicions are factual divine revelations from God. And these people have caused unrest in their communities with their so-called revelations.

I live eighty (80) kilometers from Bawku, an area embroiled in conflict. Conflicts have caused peace to elude Bawku and its environs. People live daily in fear of being physically attacked. They live daily in fear of being terrorized by miscreants. Infiltrations by evil-minded people from other communities, some from outside the country, have added to fears as unscrupulous persons take advantage to cause mayhem and panic.

Evil and lawless people, riding on motorcycles, shoot and kill people at random. Even the presence of military personnel has not curbed the violence, nor allayed fears. The situation has resulted in the Government imposing curfews, and sometimes restricting the use of motorcycles. Yet violence and shooting have continued.

The curfew and restrictions make life unbearable. Law-abiding citizens who do not indulge in bad behaviors are also affected by the ban and restrictions.

Countless educational fora and advice by religious bodies, government agencies and NGOs have failed to make violence-minded persons embrace peaceful co-existence.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “People only see what they are prepared to see.” Therefore, making some people to understand and accept peace can be an uphill struggle.

Pete Wehner is a Senior Fellow at the Ethics and Public Policy Center and the director of EPPC’s Faith Angle Forum. He is a writer on political, cultural, religious, and national security issues. He asserts, “As human beings we’re wired to interpret new information as conforming our beliefs and reject it if it runs counter to those beliefs.”

People readily reject beliefs or ideas that do not conform to what they want.

Young ones look unto the elderly as role models. They learn from what the elderly do. They grow up emulating the elderly. In communities associated with violence, elderly ones with violent mindset usually urge children and the young ones to be hard and fight all who offend or oppose them. They instigate violence by urging them to resist violence with violence. They urge them to be brutal and offensive against people who oppose them.

Children growing up in these communities, therefore, unconsciously train their minds to respond angrily to whatever they do not like and end up patterning their minds with violent thoughts. Each time a child emphasizes on violence, the child enhances the violent habit. As the child grows up, he or she learns to live as a violent individual, distrusting people, getting angry easily, and relegating patience to the background. He or she grows up believing that patience is a sign of cowardice.

Thus, we are constantly creating violent, impatient and non-forgiving societies.

Sadly, the canker of suspicion has engulfed the Christian community, too. And some Christian leaders believe their suspicions are revelations or divine inspirations from God. These religious leaders equate their unhealthy suspicious feelings and thoughts with the Word of Knowledge. And others equate them with prophecy (1 Corinthians 12:8,10).

I know a Christian woman who suspects everybody who disagrees with her. When anyone says something that displeases her she jumps to the conclusion the person is insinuating her. I have explained to her that she should first analyze her feelings and thoughts and pray about them before conjecturing. I tell her to ask anyone she suspects has defamed her for clarification before concluding that she is right in her accusations. But she rejects my advice.

Neil Strauss said, “People believe what they want to believe. And what they want to believe is whatever allows them to justify what they want to do.”

Her suspicions of people make her to hate people. Especially those who disagree with her. She even suspects her husband to be a womanizer. Her proof is only her suspicions. Her behavior makes her husband now to suspect that she could be living with a guilty conscience. People who struggle with a guilty conscience because of what they have done, tend to suspect every other person. They reason that if they could cheat on their spouses, then it is possible that their spouses, too, might cheat on them. Liars struggle to believe others. Liars use themselves as the standard to judge others.

Some people will never accept anything that is not what they believe. Francis Bacon said, “Man prefers to believe what he prefers to be true.”

If you suspect that someone has offended you, go to that person and tell him or her what you suspect. Enquire from the person if what you suspect is true. Jesus tells us to deal with problems by talking to people we think have offended us, (Matthew 18:15-17).

Do not aver that your suspicions against people are factual until after you have authenticated your suspicions.

Suspicions start in the inner space of our being (our mind). Some people feel that the spirit is speaking to their inner being. And some pastors and prophets believe that these feelings and thoughts are inspirations of God’s Spirit speaking within their spirits.

Moreover, people who do not live righteously see all others the same way. If they are dishonest, they consider all (or most) people to be dishonest. Therefore, they can’t believe that other people can have high moral principles. They think every person has low moral principles as they have.

But they are wrong because there are many people who are righteous and who will not compromise their integrity.

Participants in conflicts tend to respond based on their own feelings of the situation, rather than an objective review of the situation. We don’t see other people’s point of view when we allow emotions to dictate our responses. We must, therefore, learn to control our emotions. We must learn to take logical approaches in dealing with happenings we don’t like.

On June 7, 2012, there was a news report from the Central Region in Ghana that two people had been killed in ethnic clashes between indigenous Fantes and Ewe settlers at Ekumfi Narkwa, in the Mfantseman District.

The clashes ensued when a 50-year-old man, who was the Ebusuapanyin (the head of the family) of the Narkwa royal house, was beheaded by unknown assailants. His mutilated body was buried in his coconut plantation. Initially his body was found without the head.

Five others sustained gunshot injuries and were receiving treatment at the hospital.

The police reported that the Fantes suspected the Ewe settlers of the murder. Relying on suspicion and not on facts, the Fante indigenes ran riot and torched seven thatched houses belonging to the Ewes. A second report later gave the number of houses burnt as eight.

The Ewes retaliated in defense. Later reports revealed that several more people sustained various degrees of injuries.

The Daily Graphic, on 12 June 2012, reported that two suspects, Kweku Mensah, 37, a coconut seller, and native of Narkwa, and his 30-year-old sister, Aba Koba, were arrested for the murder. Mensah led a team of policemen to the location where he buried the severed head.

The suspects, Kweku Mensah and Aba Koba, were not Ewes. Yet the Fantes had earlier suspected that the murderer was an Ewe. If the indigenes had delayed action, or done the right thing by allowing the police to do their work, innocent lives would have been saved, and damage to houses would have been averted.

Investigations revealed that Kweku Mensah, a coconut seller, often went into the coconut plantation of the murdered person, Eguasia, to steal coconuts to sell. And Eguasia had confronted and warned Mensah severally to stop stealing from his farm. 

On Wednesday, June 6, 2012, Eguasia went to his coconut plantation and saw Mensah plucking his coconuts. A confrontation ensued. Mensah managed to overpower Eguasia and beheaded him. He dug a grave near the farm, buried the head and covered it. He then buried the body on top of the head in the same grave.

Mensah then took Eguasia’s mobile phone home and gave it to his sister, Aba Kobah. Aba Kobah warned Mensah not to tell anybody about the incident else the people of the community would lynch him.

The police later had information that a woman was in possession of the deceased’s mobile phone. So, the Police made calls to the phone. Kobah kept misleading the police as to who she was and where she lived. Eventually, the police were able to arrest Mensah and Kobah, and the two confessed.

Proverbs 29:11, “A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back,” (ESV). And in Proverbs 17:27-28 we read, “Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding. Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent,” (ESV).

If the Fante indigenes had restrained themselves and not attacked the Ewe settlers, violence would have been averted.

Ralph Waldo Emerson rightly said that “People only see what they are prepared to see.” And Francis Bacon said people prefer to believe what they want to be true.

Suspicions can be dangerous. Suspicions generate anger. And anger can generate hate. As happened between the Fante indigenes and the Ewe settlers, anger and hate can generate conflict, and can cause destruction, pain and even deaths.

Jesus said whenever we think someone has offended us, we should reach out to the person, discuss the issue with the person, and settle the matter (Matthew 18:15-17).

When we pray, the Holy Spirit synchronizes the words of our petitions (or declarations), taking into consideration our attitudes or inner character (Jeremiah 17:10; Job 34:11), and God then gives us our answers, (Job 22:28; John 14:10, 13-16; John 16:24).

The Holy Spirit cannot perform freely in our lives while we are living unrighteous lives. The indwelling Holy Spirit cleanses us of impurities if we allow the Holy Spirit free access in our lives. He transforms our lives by cleansing us of our unrighteousness, (1 John 1:9). And we receive from God our prayer requests.

The Holy Spirit detests lies, hate, bitterness, and all negative attitudes. Lies are lies; there are no big or small lies, and no white or black lies. All lies contaminate our souls and do not allow the Holy Spirit free access to our spirits. And so, a person who bears false witness against another is a club, a sword, and a sharp arrow (Proverbs 25:18).

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Dealing with Personal Attacks, Overcoming Adversities and Winning Without Being Violent

Dealing with personal attacks, overcoming adversities and winning without being violent, are some challenges many people struggle with daily.

It can be depressing when people blame you for mistakes you have not committed. It pains when you are accused of something you did not do. Some people scold and blame others for the troubles they encounter. They always justify their own mistakes but will blame others for any trouble that comes their way.

Emotional people do not use logic when arguing

People will hurt and make you angry by being ungrateful and insulting

Though you may feel like reacting, do not let anger make you hate them. Show goodwill towards people – to both the good and the evil – despite their unfair criticisms or treatments. Don’t harbor hatred. God makes His sun to rise on both evil and good people and makes His rain to fall on the righteous and the unrighteous (Matthew 5:45).

As much as possible try to control your emotions. It will not be easy, but with prayer and faith in God, you can do it.

Do not stop the good works that you are doing. Criticisms against you may be unfair. However, never withdraw the good services you are doing for the community.

People will praise you and turn around to curse you

Moses led the Children of Israel out of Egypt. They were in bondage and cried for a deliverer. God sent Moses to help them out. They were happy and hailed Moses as their hero. They jubilated as they went out with Moses.

When everything was okay, Moses was the hero everyone loved and praised. He was the greatest.

But as soon as they encountered trouble, they quickly turned against Moses. They accused Moses and said he was the cause of their plight. They said,

“Is it because there are no graves in Egypt that you have taken us away to die in the wilderness? What have you done to us in bringing us out of Egypt?” (Exodus 14:11; ESV)

Moses who was the hero a few days earlier was now a villain, a scoundrel, an evil person. He was now the person to blame for their misfortunes.

They said to him,

 “Is not this what we said to you in Egypt, ‘Leave us alone that we may serve the Egyptians’? For it would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the wilderness.” (Exodus 14:12; ESV)

Remember that no one forced them to go out of Egypt with Moses. They all went out of their own volition. Because they wanted to go out of bondage, they sang, jubilated as they marched out of Egypt following Moses as their leader.

When everything is okay with people, they will say nice things about you. The same people will call you the devil when things go bad for them.

Arguing is a waste of precious time when dealing with angry people. Angry people are emotional, full of prejudice, and motivated by pride and vanity. When people find themselves disadvantaged, they look for scapegoats to lay their blame and failures on them.

No matter how sincere you are, some people will always see you in a bad light. Some will always suspect your good intentions and will have something evil to say about your good deeds.

They blamed Moses and put all their problems on him. Moses had a genuine intention to help the people in their sufferings. He was not benefitting directly. After all, he was living comfortably with his wife and father-in-law, Jethro the priest of Midian, before he came back to Egypt to deliver them.

In such situations do not be eager to vindicate yourself by debating them.

Hold back your anger. Look for points you both agree on and try to make them see that you seek their welfare. Then encourage them to help you find the solutions to the problem.

See beyond their ingratitude. Think of how you can help to correct the problem. Later, when the problem is solved, you can help them know how ungrateful they had been to you.

When you are confronted by the ingratitude of people, only love can make you continue to help.

Your passion for what you are doing will urge you on when things look bleak and ingratitude stares you in the face.

Your personality is patterned according to your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs. Proverbs 23:7 says

“…as a man thinks in his heart so is he…”

Jesus also said,

“A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good things, and an evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth evil things. (Matthew 12:35; NKJV)

You may be crippled by your problem; however, you will overcome if God is in you and His word and healing power working in you. Problems are temporary. You will find the solutions to them if you are focused.

You may have started late but you can still make it

Do not wait for someone (or good luck) to pull you out. No matter how little you perform or how slow you progress, work on and you will succeed.

David believed that the battle was for the Lord and that the Lord himself would fight for him.

However, David did not fold his hands and wait for God to fight. David took pebbles, a sling and went out to face Goliath. He used his feeble weapon against the mighty Goliath who wielded a mighty weapon. And he won (1 Samuel 17:45-51).

Go out with your sling and pebbles, backed by your faith in God, and see God fight and win the battle for you.

God told Moses to tell the Children of Israel to march forward against their obstacle – the Red Sea – and away from their enemies – the Egyptians.

Leaders must have confidence that success is possible. Leaders must stand firm despite the challenges confronting them. Moses encouraged the people not to be afraid.

13 “And Moses said to the people, ‘Do not be afraid. Stand still, and see the salvation of the LORD, which He will accomplish for you today. For the Egyptians whom you see today, you shall see again no more forever. 14 The LORD will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace.’” (Exodus 14:13-14; NKJV)

Of course, God was going to divide the sea, but he asked Moses to stretch his rod over it as a sign of faith in God and in God’s Word.

Moses acted and God divided the sea, making a way for them to cross over. (Exodus 14:15-23)

The Israelites walked on dry land and crossed over to the other side. But when the Egyptians followed, God again asked Moses to stretch his rod over the sea and close it over the Egyptians. The Egyptians were destroyed.

Angry people are too emotional to listen to logic

You cannot share useful information with people when they are angry and shouting at you.

Moses did not waste his time trying to argue with the people when they accused and blamed him for their many problems. Whenever they blamed him or accused him, Moses turned to God and prayed for courage and wisdom and moved on.

The emotional person does not use logic. If you try to use logic and facts to argue a point with someone who is already emotional, it will not work. When people are angry, they become emotional. The emotional person is not in the mood to listen. The emotional person wants to talk about his or her feelings and blame people.

We demonstrate what we believe. And so, people who look to circumstances and believe they cannot succeed remain poor and helpless.

If you sow thoughts of fear, sickness, enmity, etc., you shall reap the same in abundance. Therefore, those who sow thoughts of greatness, prosperity and good health reap the same in greater quantities.

Most of the Children of Israel believed they could not succeed. Moses, on the other hand, believed that they could succeed.

Stop complaining against people who do not help you. Stop groaning about how life is difficult and unfair. Life is difficult and unfair to many people. Complaining, whining and groaning will not change your situation. Put your faith into action and believe God to stand behind your faith.

Your present life may be bitter and frustrating. However, if you do not stop believing and working, tomorrow will be great.

The height of your success will be determined by how high your aspiration is. In the same way, your lowest level of inferiority is determined by how low you conceive yourself to be.

Think constructively. Think positively and act on what you think. If you do not act you will not achieve anything.

Remind yourself always of the good fortune that awaits you at the other side of your ‘Red Sea’. Stretch forth your hand and part your Red Sea.

If your hope is on a fellow human being, be it a rich friend or a brother, to help you, you might be disappointed. You may look for help from many places, but let your faith and hope reside in the Lord, and he will find the help you need. Psalm 75:6-7 says,

6 “For promotion cometh neither from the east, nor from the west, nor from the south. 7 But God is the judge: he putteth down one, and setteth up another.” (KJV)

Moses did not look up to the people. The people saw only Moses. They did not see God in the picture. That is why many people are followers. That is why only a few are leaders. Leaders believe in themselves and look unto God for direction. They know they will succeed.

Decide on what you want to be in a few years’ time from now. Moses looked beyond. His mind was to get over to the other side of the Red Sea. That sea was a hindrance, but he knew he could overcome it.

Every problem is outmatched by the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit living in you. 1 John 4:4 says,

“You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.” (NKJV)

Romans 8:31 assures us,

“What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?” (NKJV)

No problem can defeat you. You are the master of your problems. Rise up and conquer your mountains.

Most people blame material circumstances as the source of their difficulties, trials, and failures. Most people blame their failures on a lack of financial resources. Though these are factors that make success difficult, they are not ultimate barriers.

Adverse conditions, environments, and circumstances should be challenges that should spur you to success. Climb over the obstacles. Use the obstacles as steppingstones.

Jesus said,

“For assuredly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be removed and be cast into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that those things he says will be done, he will have whatever he says.” (Mark 11:23; NKJV)

Match your prayer and belief with works, because faith without works is dead. (James 1:22-25)

Do not waste your time in frivolities or other vain things. Think always about what your future should be like. And do not waste your time arguing and trying to prove you are right or good. Your deeds will eventually prove your integrity.

People will notice you if you are successful

When you become a success people will then recognize you and your worth. And then they will care about the story you say about yourself. Because they will want to learn from your success story.

Whatever you do, do it to attain the goal ahead.  While the people accused Moses, Moses focused his mind on God. Rather than hitting back at them, he took the problem to God. Seek guidance and answers. Don’t stop to argue with complainers. Winston Churchill said,

“You will never reach your destination if you stop and throw stones at every dog that barks.” (Unquote)

Initially, things would be difficult. And it would not be easy to persevere. But with practice and persistence, you will learn to persevere. And your perseverance will take you to your success.

Persist in your spirit. Do not let any obstacle dampen your spirit. Proverbs 18:14 says,

“The spirit of a man will sustain him in sickness, but who can bear a broken spirit?” (NKJV)

Work persistently. Make good plans and review or update them periodically.

Save a percentage of what you earn – do not touch your savings now. Discipline yourself and let your little savings grow into a huge investment capital tomorrow.

Do not let people dictate how you should live. Some people allow others to pull their strings. You can never live your life to its fullest by living according to other people’s definitions of success.

Your parents, your friends, or politicians, cannot truly define your life to its fullest. They may suggest some things, but the ultimate decision of what you want to be would be defined by yourself. James Baldwin said,

“I was not born to be what someone said I was. I was not born to be defined by someone else, but myself only.” (Unquote)

You must have the confidence that you will succeed. Your confidence will lead you and urge you on to success. Without confidence, you will not have the urge to continue when the tempest of failures assail you. Your passionate desire to achieve your goal will drive you on when challenges confront you.

Procrastination is said to be the thief of time. When you procrastinate you push your future further into the farthest future.

When you fail, do not quit. Try again, and again, and again, till you succeed.

Let these words of Micah be your mind,

“Do not rejoice over me, my enemy; when I fall, I will arise; when I sit in darkness, the LORD will be a light to me.” (Micah 7:8; NKJV)

Plan on how to tackle the problem. Give yourself time for the execution and the achievement of the plan of action. Work daily towards achieving the goal. Review your plans weekly or as often as you can. Make corrections or modifications, and where necessary make deletions. Be enthusiastic about your project.

However, if you do not see any improvement after persistently failing many times, ask yourself whether you need to review your plans or change them entirely. If by two or three years you do not see any improvement, you may need to change your plans. That is why you should have a three-year, five-year and ten-year plans. These periods should see some marked improvements as you march towards your goal.

To become successful, you must focus your mind and energy on the actions that will take you closer to the goals you want to achieve. Don’t let the pain of temporary failure weaken your determination.

We read in Proverbs 24:10,

“If you faint in the day of adversity, your strength is small.” (NKJV)

Stand up and face your problems. Like Moses, be calm and face your ‘Red Sea’. With faith in God and full of self-confidence Moses parted the Red Sea.

If God’s Spirit is your partner, His knowledge and wisdom will guide you.

One spirit with the Lord

“But he who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with Him.” (1 Corinthians 6:17: NKJV)

The Spirit of God indwelling you will enable you to overcome. Not by might, nor by power, but by the spirit of God… (Zechariah 4:6).

After the Red Sea incident, the people complained again any time they encountered trouble. They complained against Moses and Aaron.

Even though it was apparent that it was not Moses, but God, who was the provider, they complained against Moses and Aaron and blamed the two for their problems.

People will blame you when there is trouble even when it is not your fault.

At some point, they even became violent and ready to stone Moses. Ingratitude at its highest. They had forgotten so soon all that God did for them through this same Moses. In such a situation you might feel like giving up.

They did not consider that Moses was facing the problems with them. All they thought of was their own selfish interests.

Though he was not happy with their attitude, Moses went to God any time they were confronted with severe challenges. He did not blame anyone.

In your dealings with people, no matter how transparent you are, some will find fault with you. Some will accuse you. Some will hate you, and some will slight you. No matter how honest you are, some people will dislike you and will lie about you.

Moses continued to show love and kindness despite the people’s ingratitude and hate towards him

In every community, there will be a mixed multitude. When the children of Israel left Egypt, we read in Exodus 12:38 that, a mixed multitude went up with them. They are fair-weather people.  In Numbers 11:4-6 we read how they caused great commotion and great trouble among the Children of Israel.

4 “Now the mixed multitude who were among them yielded to intense craving; so the children of Israel also wept again and said: ‘Who will give us meat to eat? 5 We remember the fish which we ate freely in Egypt, the cucumbers, the melons, the leeks, the onions, and the garlic; 6 but now our whole being is dried up; there is nothing at all except this manna before our eyes!” (NKJV)

We will come across these kinds again in the New Testament. This time, the New Testament refers to them as “lewd fellows of the baser sort.”

“But the Jews which believed not, moved with envy, took unto them certain lewd fellows of the baser sort, and gathered a company, and set all the city on an uproar, and assaulted the house of Jason, and sought to bring them out to the people.” (Acts 17:5; KJV)

The American Standard Version refers to them as “vile fellows of the rabble,” the Amplified Bible describes them as “wicked men (ruffians and rascals) and loungers in the marketplace.”

The mixed multitude, the lewd fellows of the baser sort, will cause ‘earthquakes’ in your life. But you must stand firm when the earthquakes hit you.

Moses and Aaron lived lives of prosperity and victory because they did not pay back evil for evil. They planted good seeds of love, kindness, and goodwill. They, therefore, reaped goodness, love, prosperity and the best of health. Aaron lived 123 years (Numbers 33:39) and Moses 120 years (Deuteronomy 34:7).

Most often our responses to the evil done to us are to repay people according to the manner they treat us. However, Proverbs 24:29 says,

“Do not say, ‘I will do to him just as he has done to me; I will render to the man according to his work.’” (NKJV)

Use your time profitably and let God avenge you. Romans 12:17-21 says not to avenge ourselves. Focus on doing good and leave the rest to God. “Vengeance is mine”, says the Lord.

If all of us would live that way, there would be less or no violence in our communities, and our societies would be peaceful, healthy and full of happiness.

If we would all use our time and energy to nurture and practice peace, we would have tranquil communities rapidly progressing economically.

Do not let your emotions run you and control your actions. Manage your anger and aggressive feelings. Be a peacemaker always.

Sometimes, our rash responses inadvertently create or aggravate conflicts, and we ourselves suffer the consequences.

Some people cannot see how they are wrong. So, they fight back when you correct them.

The Bible says in Isaiah 52:7,

“How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him who brings good news, who proclaims peace, who brings glad tidings of good things…” (NKJV)

Furthermore, we read in Matthew 5:9

“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.” (NKJV)

Jesus says in Luke 6:31-33

31 “And just as you want men to do to you, you also do to them likewise. 32 But if you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them.  33 And if you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same.” (NKJV)

Do not act when you are angry. You might do something terrible. You might hurt a person, an animal or destroy valuable properties.

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How do I make people like me and listen to me? Why do people hate me?

Presentation on Making People Listen Without Provoking Them
Presentation on Making People Listen Without Provoking Them

 

 

Do you struggle with the question, “How do I make people like me and listen to me?”

Do you wonder why people hate you and your cause?… why people say negative things about you and your beliefs?

You might have tried many times to explain and give reasons as to why people should accept your views, why they should accept your religion or your party’s ideology without success. In spite of efforts, you continue to fail; nobody listens to you; nobody seems to like you or your religion. They hate you, and you wonder why.

Your attitude may be the problem!

People will not like you if you cannot tolerate them. They will not like you if you force your views on them. Allow people to analyze what you tell them; allow them the freedom to decide to agree or disagree with you. When you are wrong, admit it; do not be angry when people tell you that you are wrong. Do not be on the defensive when you are wrong. Allow them to explain or express their views.

Respect people’s opinions; be polite when you disagree with their opinions. Learn to listen to people when they express themselves and tell you what they want. Do not be like religious militants who do not listen to other people’s opinions .

Don’t be insulting. Don’t make people’s lives miserable. 

“Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity,” Psalm 133:1.

20150925_194346_001.jpg
Dining together in love and unity  (Queens Bible Church, New York)

It is incompatible with the character of the God of mercy to kill innocent and helpless people. Therefore, do not project a deity that is always angry and murderous.

  1. The God of peace and mercy loves all the time. He persuades and gently leads people to the truth.
  2. Instead of killing, the God of peace and love gives life and happiness.

When you are sarcastic, you make people angry.

Sarcasm makes it difficult for people to listen when you express your views. Sarcasm does not win empathy or understanding.

  • Your body language might make your suggestions or responses appear insulting.
  • A vicious personality portrays you as a violent person.
  • You can’t convince people that your religion is peaceful when you are hostile and attack people who disagree with you.

Queens Bible Church, New York

 

 

 

 

 

Violent behaviors and murderous actions are some reasons people may see you as evil and murderous.
Remember that you can win people to your cause without being violent or angry.

For books by Rockeybell visit…

Power of Persuasion… Part 2

There is power in persuasion

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“..yes, the time is coming that whoever kills you will think that he offers God service.” (Jesus – John 16:2)
Persuasion has power to win without inflicting harm.

Religious Militants do not know the art of persuasion. They force people to accept their views.

Rockeybell at BarCamp Mentoring Program October 2014
Rockeybell at BarCamp Mentoring Program October 2014

Learn to win without attacking

Learn to present your message effectively without using physical force.
Present your facts; do not attack your opponents’ beliefs.

When you attack them, you make them hate you.

The Christian church was established through the power of persuasive speech. (Acts chapter 2)

Peter, on the day of Pentecost, stood before a hostile crowd, and used the power of persuasion to convict the hearts of listeners. The followers of Jesus Christ were only 120. For fear of being arrested and killed, they hid themselves in the upper room, and prayed.
Thousands of devout Jews from every nation had come to celebrate the Jewish religious festival in Jerusalem; just as millions of Muslims go to Mecca every year for the Hajj.
As the disciples waited on God and prayed, the Holy Spirit came upon them, and they started speaking with other tongues. People who heard them mocked, because they  thought they were drunk.

Peter stood up and spoke persuasively, testifying about Jesus. He exhorted them, and convinced them to abandon their wrong ways and follow Jesus.

Peter did not use physical force to make people believe in Jesus. His words cut their hearts, and they asked, “Men and brethren, what shall we do?

Peter replied,

“Repent, and let everyone of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins; and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. For the promise is to you and to your children, and to all who are afar off, as many as the Lord our God will call.” (Acts 2:37-39; New King James Version)

About three thousand souls believed and became followers of Jesus Christ that day through the power of persuasion; not by the sword.
(We shall continue to examine the power of persuasion in subsequent discussions)

Read Rockeybell’s testimony:

History records wars between Muslims and Christians... A book by Rockeybell
History records wars between Muslims and Christians… A book by Rockeybell

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The Almighty, Peaceful, Loving and Compassionate God does not force people to love Him. When we attack people physically and compel them, we make them hate us. One does not have to kill people if one’s message has substance to convince.
Jesus told us  to warn people, but not to attack them. He said we should leave them to God; God will deal with them on the Day of Judgement. (Luke 10:8-12)
Jesus commaded His followers to  love their enemies; not to hate them.

“But I say to you who hear: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you.” (Luke 6:27-29; New King James)

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Christians are allowed to defend themselves; they are not to be aggressors.
Jesus asked,

“But if you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same.” (Luke 6:32-33; New King James Version)

Jesus Christ told His followers  to be different from others. He told them to demonstrate their beliefs by persuading people; no force and no violence.
People who attack and kill innocent people are not true followers of God. They do not have the Spirit of the Compassionate God in them. At a certain time, the disciples were angry with some Samaritans. They remembered Prophet Elijah had called down fire to consume people who had come to arrest him (2 Kings 1:9-12). They asked Jesus to allow them also call fire to consume the Samaritans.

“But He turned and rebuked them, and said, ‘You do not know what manner of spirit you are of. For the Son of Man did not come to destroy men’s lives but to save them.’ And they went to another village.” (Luke 9:55-56; New King James Version)

Jesus said He did not come to destroy people’s lives. He came to save. True and saving religion does not destroy innocent people’s lives.

You may need a copy of the book, “How To Make People (Hostile and Friendly) Listen To You.”
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To be continued

Power of Persuasion…. Part 1

The Power of Persuasion: How and Why

Islamic Militants may not know that  persuasion has tremendous power to convince listeners.

  • Jesus taught His followers to use persuasion
  • He showed them how to win without attacking their opponents

(We shall discuss how to win without attacking as we progress.)

WINNING WITHOUT ATTACKING
Paper (Hard Copy) version of “Persuasion is Better Than Force.”

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Jesus demonstrated the power of persuasion when He communicated with hostile or difficult people.

The Samaritan woman had lived with several men. She needed salvation. However, because of the hostility  between Jews and Samaritans, Jesus knew she would not accept the truth from Him, a Jew. Jesus, therefore, started a friendly dialogue to make her talk to Him. She was surprised that a Jew would ask a Samaritan water to drink. Jesus ignored her remark and dealt directly on her spiritual need.

He led her patiently to the point where she could assimilate the truth and admit her  sins. With enmity out of the way, and Jesus now a friend, she could ask for the living water that Jesus said He had.

Abraham Lincoln said, “I conquer my enemies when I make them my friends.”
Proverbs 15:2 says, “The tongue of the wise uses knowledge aright: but the mouth of fools pours out foolishness.”

Coercion, hate and violence do not win people’s sympathy.

Militants use violence to promote their religion, and yet they claim they promote a peaceful God and a peaceful religion.

  • The Bible presents a tolerant and peaceful way
  • Jesus told His disciples to use persuasion

Jesus gives true peace…

” Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” (John 14:27: New King James Version)

Christ’s Spirit makes us tolerant

Before he became a Christian, Paul persecuted Christians. But when he became a Christian, he learned the way of the Master Jesus – persuasion.

Why militants can’t tolerate others

They were trained from childhood, by their parents, peers and community leaders, to express themselves through violence. They were not allowed to exercise their own freewill to accept God, but were forced to do so.

Growing up in such environments, they copied the violent behaviors of those who influenced them, and became violent. When they fail to convince people, they become frustrated and end up attacking people. They call their violence ‘peace,‘ because that is how they know peace to be.

John Locke said,
“…true and saving religion consists in the inward persuasion of the mind, without which nothing can be acceptable to God.” (John Locke, A Letter Concerning Toleration. Buffalo, New York: Prometheus Books, 1990; page 20)

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Read Rockeybell’s testimonyhttp://www.peacemakersteam.com/rockeybells-testimony.html

Jesus exhibited a perfect spirit of tolerance.

The disciples were angry with some Samaritans who would not allow Jesus into their city. They wanted to call fire from heaven to consume the Samaritans just as Elijah did in 2 Kings 1:9-12. Jesus rebuked them, and said, “You do not know what manner of spirit you are of. For the Son of Man did not come to destroy men’s lives but to save them.” So they went to another village.” (Luke 9:51-56)

Jesus said,
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.” (Matthew 5:43-45; New King James Version).

We hear of Boko Haram killing innocent people – destroying towns and villages. Yet we know that the Almighty God is peaceful and loving. They abduct women, and rape some of them. Can the victims accept that Boko Haram presents peace?

People will, therefore, continue believing that Boko Haram, Al-Qaeda, Al-Shabaab, and all militants are violent.

To be continued

Welcome to “Conquering Without Being Violent.”

Conquering Without Being Violent  WIN WITHOUT ATTACKING  Conquering Without Being Violent 001

Can Violent Militants Change?

Daily we read of Islamic militants (Al-Qaeda, Al-Shabaab, Boko Haram, ISIS, etc.), The Lord’s Resistance Army, and suicide bombers using violence to press home their demands. They attack and kill innocent people as they force their decisions and beliefs on them.
School pupils explode in anger and shoot their colleague pupils and teachers.
Islamic militants abduct girls from schools in rural African communities, claiming their religion does not allow females to have education. They rape some of them, impregnating them in the process, and eventually sell them or compel them to marry men the girls do not love.

A loving God does not use hate to make people love Him

“Conquering Without Being Violent” discusses how persuasion convinces people rather than force.
Abraham Lincoln said, we conquer our enemies when we make them our friends.
Jesus told His followers never to use force to make people accept their views. He told His followers to love their enemies; not to hate them.

Topics to discuss on this platform include:

  1. Engaging  people in peaceful dialog
  2. Disagreeing without being offensive
  3. Defending without being polemical

You can conquer by persuasion without being violent

Do you get angry easily?
Are you violent in your reactions?
Do you want to form a new loving and patient habit?
Do you want to turn enemies into friends?

Discussions will include:

  • Using gentle ways in presenting views.
  • Training our angry emotions to calm down in angry situations.
  • Helping the brutish husband to learn to listen.
  • Helping a disrespectful child to learn to listen and obey.
  • Helping the cantankerous wife to learn to listen.
  • Helping the opinionated boss to learn listen to other views.

Truth should be able to persuade and draw people to one’s cause

A person who is persuaded to abandon his or her position voluntarily, will see it as his or her own decision; he or she does not feel coerced.

Is there hope for the chronically angry person?

Why do some people get angry easily?
Can the violent person change?
Can the hot-tempered person change?

Can we control our emotions?