Uncontrolled anger can make us look antagonistic

Uncontrolled anger makes us lose the opportunity to win people’s trust.

Many people are unaware of their uncontrolled anger.

Many have fires burning in their bosoms, yet pretend to be loving and caring.

People condemn Al-Qaeda, ISIS, Al-Shabaab, Boko Haram, and persons or groups who slit people’s throats and decapitate people, and yet they turn around to do evil to fellow humans.

We condemn suicide bombers in the Arab countries, in Europe, etc., yet we lynch people without evidence that they deserve to die by such inhuman acts.

Some Christians, despite the teachings of Jesus, use the wrong frontal method of attacking angry and violent people. It is unwise to attack angry and violent people; especially when they are defending their beliefs. You make them angrier.

Uncontrolled anger can produce angry responses from listeners. And angry responses can interfere with listeners’ minds. They may feel your responses are attacks and would want to defend themselves. The listener may feel intimidated and belittled.

Uncontrolled anger can misrepresent the truth about our opinions

We must, therefore, learn to control our anger.

Angry moods convey antagonistic impressions — they attack the persons we want to win over.

Do not begin by scolding or criticizing when you want to correct someone.

Find something to praise first. When you praise what a person has done, you win that person’s confidence. And you make that person to feel comfortable and want to listen to you more. So, discuss how well the person has done, before pointing out the person’s flaws.

Don’t be eager to point out the flaws first. Start by discussing how well the person has done. Then let the person know how he or she could have done it differently. That way, you are pointing out the person’s flaws in a reverse way without attacking. You can win the listener and make him or her comfortable to listen to your soft criticisms when you don’t attack.

(Click to read “How to control our emotional anger and how to make people agree with us…”)

 Uncontrolled anger can turn you into a shouting bully and control freak

We placate our ego when we are in control. The wish to control, therefore, drives us to want to conquer and make others submit to what we say. So we use intimidation to cower people.

When we are unable to articulate our views, or unable to make people agree with us, we may become angry and may turn to violence.

When you present your “peace-loving and merciful deity” through violence, you contradict your claim that your deity is loving, merciful and peaceful.

We claim we seek the peace and prosperity of people, yet we use atrocities against them.

(Click to see “Persuasion is Better than Force”)

Uncontrolled anger blocks your listener’s reasoning and your reasoning as well

Robert Green Ingersoll asserted,

“Anger is a wind which blows out the lamp of the mind.”

Anger makes it difficult for you to analyze what the other person is saying.

We may experience a tug of war on our conscience — one side of the mind is angry and wants to apply violence, while the other is telling us not to take the violent way.

Most often, the side that advocates violence conquers, and we end up using violence to express our feelings or dislike.

We make the world a violent place to live in when we express our desires by violence.