God speaks and reveals Himself to people in different ways. He may reveal Himself to one person in one manner and to another person in a different manner. Scripture describes God’s self-revelation through various means.

What matters is learning to recognize His voice. Jesus said, “He that is of God hears God’s words…” (John 8:47), and “My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me,” (John 10:27). Yet, because of our human limitations, we may sometimes struggle to distinguish His voice from the many others.

A child of God who unites with God’s Spirit and becomes one with the Lord (1 Corinthians 6:17) should eventually be able to recognize God’s voice, even after making mistakes at first. Our union with God through His Spirit gives us direct access to Him and enables us to hear and identify His voice. Spirituality is important in this regard. Without a sincere and meaningful relationship with God, we may struggle to recognize His voice. As Jesus said in John 10:4, the sheep know their shepherd’s voice.

Because of inexperience, we may not recognize God’s voice immediately, as Samuel did in 1 Samuel 3. Human limitations can also lead to mistakes.

Learning to identify God’s voice was a gradual process for me. It took time to become familiar with how His guidance came to me and to recognize it accurately.

Even after I had gained more experience, I sometimes misunderstood what I believed I had heard. On those occasions, I tried to prevent negative outcomes by taking precautions, yet the outcomes still occurred despite my efforts.

By contrast, when I followed the guidance precisely, I witnessed positive results. These experiences helped me recognize the importance of accurately identifying God’s voice and responding faithfully to what I believed He was saying.

Surrounded By Religious Traditions

I grew up surrounded by three religious traditions: Islam, Traditional African Religion, and Christianity. Each tradition sought my devotion and offered its own understanding of God and spiritual life. Among them, however, Islam had the strongest influence on my thinking.

Although my religious background shaped my thoughts about God, the difficult problems and unanswered questions of life eventually became too burdensome for me to bear. I began to wrestle deeply with questions about God’s love and compassion.

I wondered why a loving God would allow so much pain and suffering to exist in the world. I also questioned why a compassionate God would permit evil to affect people who sincerely worshiped Him. These questions became even more troubling when evil people sometimes appeared to prosper while religious people who placed their hope in God continued to suffer.

The contrast between God’s love and compassion and the suffering I observed left me with difficult questions that I could not easily resolve.

I wondered why God would create us without first asking whether we wanted to exist, then allow us to suffer in geographical circumstances He had chosen for us. Why was God silent while I struggled with so many painful questions?

My doubts were genuine. I sincerely needed answers, and I was not trying to mock God. I was going through distressing experiences and urgently needed His help.

One day, a few days after Christmas, frustration led me to write a letter to God. The people I respected had been unable to provide satisfactory answers to my spiritual concerns, and I still could not understand why a merciful God—one described as the Beneficent and the Compassionate—would remain silent while I endured intense suffering.

The suffering I observed in the world deepened my confusion. I saw illness and pain, as well as evil fighting against good and sometimes appearing to prevail. In light of these circumstances, I struggled to understand how God could remain silent in heaven while so much suffering continued.

In my letter, I reminded God that He had made the unilateral decision to create me without asking whether I wanted to exist. Because He had chosen to create me, selected my parents, and determined where I would live, I reasoned that He was responsible for explaining the spiritual problems that overwhelmed me—problems no one else had been able to resolve. I also believed that He owed me the happiness I lacked.

I knew that God understood everyone’s innermost thoughts, so He would know that I was not making fun of Him. My questions were genuine, and no human being had been able to answer them. I believed that only God could provide the answers I needed.

I sealed the letter in an envelope and addressed it to “The Almighty God, Post Office Box Heaven, City Heaven, Country Heaven.” Then I mailed it at the post office. If God truly existed, as I sincerely believed, He would respond, although I was uncertain how He might answer.

I considered the possibility that God might send an angel, as I had been taught that He sometimes did for prophets and other people. I hoped that such a messenger would bring the answers and help I desperately needed. Alternatively, God might guide a spiritually knowledgeable person to me, teach that person the answers, and send him or her to help me.

In the letter, I again reminded God that He had created me, knew my heart, and understood that my questions were sincere. I also reminded Him that He had chosen to create me and determine my circumstances without consulting me.

I explained that I had no money and needed immediate financial assistance. I mentioned the Christian belief that Jesus was God’s Son and that Christmas commemorated His birth. For that reason, I asked God to give me a gift in honor of Jesus. At the time, however, I still struggled sincerely with the idea that Jesus was God’s Son. The question was not a matter of mockery or disbelief for its own sake; it was a genuine spiritual concern that I could not resolve. I wanted to understand how this belief fit with what I had previously understood about God, but I remained troubled by the idea and continued searching for an answer.

I could not understand how God could have a son without a wife. Moreover, according to my understanding, the Quran explicitly states that Jesus was not God’s Son but a servant of God. This apparent contradiction deepened my spiritual confusion and left me searching for an explanation.

I waited for response. But I received no answer. The silence caused me to question both religion and God’s existence. I began to consider whether the concept of God might be used by some individuals as a means of controlling others.

If God did not exist, I reasoned, why should I feel restricted? I thought about people who did not believe in God and seemed to live without such limitations. Why should I continue living unhappily when I could pursue life according to my own desires?

More Problems

I decided to live according to my own desires, believing that freedom from restriction would bring the satisfaction I sought. Instead, within three years, I had become a wreck. Although I had believed I was living as I pleased, I came to realize that I was actually under the control of another master. I felt helplessly compelled to obey whatever it commanded. My heart longed for deliverance, but my will had grown weak and had become captive to a greater power. As a result, my misery deepened, and I became increasingly tormented in both mind and body.

I started experimenting with death, doing things that could take away my precious life.

I was clinging to life on the edge of a dark abyss. One day, driven to the vortex of frustration and overwhelmed by drugs and alcohol, I collapsed. In that moment, I thought I had found the answer to all the pain and challenges of the world. But God had other plans. I regained consciousness and given another chance at life.

God’s Voice At Last

As I struggled to stand, I thought I heard a voice calling my name. The voice was quiet and steady. Although it seemed to come from very far away, it also felt remarkably close, as though it were reaching me with calm persistence.

I made my way to the living room, but no one was there. Then I heard the voice again, this time coming from the bedroom I had just left. I returned yet still found no one. I began to feel afraid.

When the voice called once more, the third time, it said, “You have tried everything and failed. Why not try the Bible and see?”

Frightened, I knelt down and prayed, asking God to deliver me from death and fear. I told Him that if He truly was the One speaking to me, He should save me. In that moment, I placed my trust in Him and promised that, in return, I would devote my entire life to Him and never doubt Him again.

Even after making that promise, I understood that I still had more to learn. I needed to seek a deeper understanding of God and come to know Him properly. My search continued for four years. During that time, I read the Bible, the Qur’an, and various materials about other religions, including African traditional religions.

To be continued…