Falsehood is dishonesty. Falsehood is untruth, even if the person saying it may think he or she is saying the truth.

Some people lie intentionally. They lie deliberately to mislead.

Though falsehood is untruth, not all falsehoods are intentional. A person may be telling a lie and may not know he or she is lying.  However, that does not make such falsehoods true.

Lies have become normal for many people. Because of that sometimes it is not easy to identify the truths in our daily interactions with people.

Some people lie to boost their egos, and some lie just for plain fun. Some, too, are habitual liars. They lie to feel good.

Some people delight in tarnishing people’s reputations by lying against them.

It is painful when a spouse deliberately lies to outdo a partner. Some spouses lie deliberately to appear as victims when they are, in fact, culprits.

If you notice that your partner regards the relationship as a competition, then it is time to reevaluate your marriage and the relationship. Why does he or she want to outdo you? What is it that drives your spouse to want to win against you? Why would he or she regard your relationship in the marriage as a competition?

Usually, the wrong person is the unsavory one. They have unhealthy pertinacity to insulting behaviors and comments towards their partners. They will only yield if they win or are allowed to do what they have determined.

Unhealthy pertinacity ruins marriages or relationships. Yet obstinate persons do not listen to advice, not even from their relatives, mothers, siblings, uncles, friends, or pastors.

Most of them know that they are wrong, but their ego will not let them admit that they are wrong. They are jaunty in all their demeanors. They display self-confidence in their egocentric strides and exude malicious superiority feelings towards their spouses, or any other persons.

Lying has become a normal behavior for many people. Some people feel good when they tell a lie.

But some people may not know that they are lying even when it is obvious that what they are saying is a lie.

Lying is so common and regular that parents will brazenly tell their children that they are going to the next house, or somewhere not far away when they are going elsewhere. Most women in Ghana say that to their children when they don’t want their children to follow them to where they are going. They think such deceptions are not lying. But that is falsehood. And every falsehood is a lie. Every lie is untruth.

Why can’t they teach their children that ‘yes’ is ‘yes’ and ‘no’ is ‘no’? If you deceive anyone, no matter how small a lie you think it is, God sees it as a lie.

The use of mobile phones is also making people lie. John was driving and talking to Mark on the phone. John wanted to know if Mark had delivered a parcel he had asked Mark to deliver. Mark answered that he was at that moment near the house where he was to deliver the parcel, so John should not worry.

As soon as they ended their conversation, John noticed Mark driving ahead of him. John then wondered why Mark told him he was already near the delivery point. Mark lied when he told John that he was around the delivery point.

Some people make lying a pastime. They lie for enjoyment. They lie to amuse themselves.

Some also lie to hurt people. They feel good when they hurt people with their lies.

Pathological liars constantly lie to make themselves appear important. Some lie to hurt people or amuse themselves. They are uncomfortable when they miss telling a lie. To them, it is more convenient to lie than to tell the truth.

People who want to impress others may lie to lift their egos and raise their self-esteem. They are constantly trying to impress people and lift high their low self-esteem.

Narcissists lie to convince people or win people’s sympathies. They lie to manipulate people. They blame other people for their faults. They make it seem they are not being treated fairly by others when they are the ones who are not being fair to people.

Egoists are arrogantly conceited. They boast and deliberately lie to lift their egos.

When liars are exposed, instead of being sorry, they may become angry. The embarrassment makes them angry.

Lies damage our reputations. Nobody can trust you if you are a known liar. Even when you tell the truth, people don’t believe you. People think you are lying because you are known to be a pathological liar.

Chronic liars have the impulsive urge to lie even about small or insignificant matters. They have compulsive lying habits. They are uneasy when they do not lie. Therefore, they lie even about insignificant matters; whether big or small. They have become prolific liars and lie so frequently that lying has become their normal characteristic. And so, people cannot tell when they are telling the truth.

Pathological liars do not have a healthy relationship. Their behaviors disturb peace in their marriages.

Compulsive liars manipulate people’s feelings. They use lies as manipulative tools to control their partners. Their behaviors cause conflicts in their marriage relationships. Yet they blame their partners for the conflicts that their negative behaviors cause. They don’t admit their faults.

They talk about only one side of the coin – the side that puts them in a good or favorable light. They do not talk about the other side of the marriage coin. They know they will be exposed if they talk about the other side of their marriage coin. Proverbs 18:17 tells us,

“The one who states his case first seems right, until the other comes and examines him.” (ESV).

The first to plead his or her case appears right until the other person speaks and cross-examines him or her. The cross-examination reveals the other side of the matter.

Bad people lie and quarrel when people do not accept their lies.

Some spouses have destroyed their marriages with lies. Some spouses take advantage of the tolerance of their partners and systematically destroy their marriages with their lies.

I know a man who tolerated his wife for more than forty (40) years. The woman lied against her husband and accused him falsely. The husband tolerated his wife for more than forty (40) years, trying to make his wife understand that in marriage it takes two to make it work. The husband tried to make his wife understand that in marriage, it is ‘give and take’ that creates peace.

But the woman is the dominating type. She is the one who must be obeyed.

Their adult children know that their mother is the cause of the problem between their father and the mother. And they know that their mother has been lying against their father.

The woman’s relatives, her mother, aunts, uncles, and her friends, etc., know how wrongly she treats her husband. All who know the couple even wonder how the man can continue tolerating his wife when she hurls invectives at him.

She abandons her marital home and goes to the big city. Sometimes she is away for a year, two and a half years, six months, three years, etc.

Not all men can be as tolerant as that woman’s husband.

The man is now considering a divorce. In their old age, now that they should be together and comfort each other, his wife continues to indulge in her lies and unfriendly behaviors.

After tolerating her for more than forty (40) years, the husband now says, “Enough is enough.” His wife’s toxic behaviors, including insults, lies, etc., are now driving the husband to seek a divorce so he can live his remaining life in tranquility.

The woman thinks she must be obeyed at all times. She believes that she must always be in charge. She believes that she, not the man, must be in control of all matters. She has no patience for differing opinions from her husband, or anyone else. She regards differing opinions or suggestions from her husband as offensive. And she shouts back at her husband when he offers opinions. She refuses to let him speak and offer suggestions.

Her behavior angers their adult children. They tell her not to speak that way to her husband, their father because their father does not disrespect her.

Though she claims to be a Christian, she ignores the fact that the husband is the head of the wife and that she owes her husband respect (Ephesians 5:22-23). The Bible says the husband is the head of the wife and the wife must submit to the husband as the church submits to Jesus Christ.  While wives are to submit to their husbands, their husbands also are admonished to love and care for their wives as Christ loved and died for the Church. (Ephesians 5:24-25)

Since they became husband and wife, the husband has never maltreated his wife. It is rather the wife who reneged on the agreement they had before they married. But though the wife has mistreated her husband, called him names, and been unfair to him many times, the man has remained faithful as the Bible admonishes husbands to be to their wives.

The wife treats her husband like she is a despotic ruler. She believes her ethnicity (or tribe) is superior to that of her husband. And she has severally intimated that to her husband.

Their children have become more uncomfortable with their mother’s behavior toward their father. And they have clearly stated that to her.

She takes her husband’s tolerance to be weakness and a sign that she can continue treating him like scum.

She lies outrageously to make her husband appear a villain. However, everyone who knows them knows the truth.

It is unfortunate when good people are taken advantage of by mean and unscrupulous people.

It is a truism that some husbands, too, can be obnoxious. So, it is not only women who are obnoxious.

For more than forty (40) years, the woman has been wandering in the wilderness, and despite all the efforts she has made, and the help her husband gave her, she has yet to make progress. The money that she said she was leaving her husband in search of has eluded her.

Lies interfere with divine actions. Lies and negative behaviors interfere with the work of the Holy Spirit.

Therefore, Peter writes in 1 Peter 1:15-17,

“But as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, since it is written, ‘You shall be holy, for I am holy.’ And if you call on him as Father who judges impartially according to each one’s deeds, conduct yourselves with fear throughout the time of your exile.” (ESV)

The Divine Spirit is Holy and works in environments that are clear of deception and lies.

When Abraham lied, God exposed him. When David committed adultery and later murder, God exposed him and even punished him.

God rejected Cain’s offering because Cain did not do what was right. God told Cain, “If you do well, (if you do what is right), you shall be accepted. And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is for you, but you must rule over it.” (Genesis 4:7)

Perhaps God is telling the woman, as he told Cain, “If you do well ( if you do what is right) you shall be accepted, and progress shall be yours.”

Doing right or being true enables the Holy Spirit to actualize God’s presence and power in us.

Jesus said we must worship God in spirit and truth. (John 4:24)

Christians must stand firm in the truth, live righteous lives, and be firm-footed in the gospel of peace (Ephesians 6:14).

God does not hear sinners (John 9:31). The prayer of the person who turns away from God’s law is an abomination to God (Proverbs 28:9).

Our iniquities are the barriers between us and God. Our sins and lies conceal God’s face and make it difficult for God to listen to us when we pray to him. (Isaiah 59:1-3)

Lies are among the sins listed as preventing us from entering heaven (Revelation 21:8; Revelation 22;14-15.

God hates lying tongues. (Proverbs 6:16-19)

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